this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
