Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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