I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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