The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
