i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
