My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
