I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
