Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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