found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize