What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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