the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
