I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
