Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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