addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize