We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My bed smells like the plague
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
