I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
