What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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