The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
