I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
