I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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