if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
