there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
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