i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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