U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
