Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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