is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
