I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
