dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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