My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
