I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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