...so i touched it.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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