would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize