Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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