I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
