Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
