you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
