Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
