JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
