i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
