youre lurking in front of me
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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