dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
