i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
