You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
