you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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