you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
