16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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