Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
