you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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