David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
