Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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