oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
