SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
