the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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