I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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