I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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