a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
