dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
