I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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