I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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