K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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