if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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