I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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