did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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