i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
