Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
