Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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