Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
