and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
