I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
