i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm at about main and main street
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
